Wirawan Winarto

Microsoft Student Partner
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Proof Against Santa Claus Existence

On Christmas Eve, Santa Claus wears his famous red suit, puts all the toys on his sleigh and nine reindeers are attached to the sleigh to pull it. He comes to every good children's house, climbs down the chimney, eats cookies left by children for him, and leaves gifts for them. People have come up with proof for and proof against the existence of Santa Claus. Many physicians, mathematicians, and engineers also had been debating on the internet trying to answer this everlasting question : Does Santa Claus Really Exist?

Here is the proof why Santa Claus does NOT exist!

  1. There are about 2 billion children (people under 15) in the world. But, since Santa Claus does not appear to handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

  2. Santa Claus has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. This requires him to visit 822.6 houses per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa Claus has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.

  3. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (just an assumption, of course), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding his reindeers and etc.

  4. This means that Santa Claus' sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, about 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest vehicle on earth, the Ulysses Space Probe, moves at a 27.4 miles per second. Meanwhile, a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

  5. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa Claus himself, who is overweight. On land, one conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even though 'flying reindeer' could pull ten times the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or nine. Thus, we need total 214,200 reindeers. This increases the payload, not even counting the weight of the sleigh itself, to 353,430 tons. That is four times the weight of the great Queen Elizabeth ship.

  6. Imagine 353,000 tons of stuffs traveling at 650 miles per second create enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame instantaneously, exposing all reindeers behind them, and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.

  7. Santa Claus, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa Claus would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force! It will Instantly crush his bones and organs and reduce him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

In conclusion. If Santa Claus did exist, he is already dead now.

Merry Christmas!

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Posted: Dec 24 2007, 05:16 PM by wirawan | with 3 comment(s)
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Comments

anonymous said:

that's classics

but I still believe in Santa anyway

# December 26, 2007 12:51 AM

Bebin said:

So stop telling our kids about santa and start telling the incarnation of christ, then ;)

# December 27, 2007 1:56 PM

Mitha said:

i know santa doesn't exist lol but until now everytime people were talking about it i can't explain the proof. now i can :)

# December 28, 2007 12:14 PM